Introducing Samantha Woodham, Co-founder of The Divorce Surgery
Sam Woodham, Co-founder of The Divorce Surgery
Meet Samantha Woodham, Co-founder of The Divorce Surgery and author of “The Divorce Surgery, the art of untying the knot”.
Join us as she shares her determination to improve the process for separating couples, how important alleviating conflict is and how one-size-fits all doesn’t apply to divorce.
Founded by experienced and specialist family law barristers Samantha Woodham and Harry Gates, The Divorce Surgery has won awards for Innovation at The FT, The Lawyer, Legal Week and the Family Law Awards, and has been widely recognised as a game-changer for the divorce industry.
The Divorce Surgery offer a brand new model, founded on the principle that with equal access to top quality, impartial legal advice couples will be empowered to resolve their differences quickly, fairly and with the least conflict.
Samantha and Harry have recently published a comprehensive guide to divorce, The Divorce Surgery: The Art of Untying the Knot.
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“I’m a family law barrister and four years ago set up The Divorce Surgery (www.thedivorcesurgery.co.uk) with a fellow barrister, Harry Gates. In my private practice I always advised one spouse on divorce, going to court when the case demanded it but always trying to avoid it if possible. Then 6 years ago a couple asked me to advise them together. They wanted to avoid conflict (and the expense of two separate legal teams) and thought an obvious solution would be for me to advise them both, together and impartially, as to the outcome I thought a Family Judge would consider fair in their situation. It seemed like a no brainer to them, and The Divorce Surgery was born.”
Sam Woodham, Co-founder of The Divorce Surgery
What problem are you aiming to solve at The Divorce Surgery?
The Divorce Surgery filled a demand in the divorce market which needed to be met- until we came along, divorcing couples couldn’t share a lawyer.
It was only when I realised that barristers could provide joint, impartial advice, and that in many other European countries sharing a lawyer on divorce is readily available, that it became clear that it could be possible. But we could never have predicted how popular our joint service would be. It’s become increasingly apparent that the divorcing public does not want a default adversarial process, with legal fees they cannot control.
Most want to be enabled to work together to find a mutually acceptable solution, and set a budget they can stick to. Which is why we offer a fixed fee service. Clients are with us for weeks, not months or years, and we cut out the conflict inherent in a two-sided process.
Who are your typical clients?
When I tell people about The Divorce Surgery they always think our clients will all be conscious uncouplers. But that’s not the reality at all. Most people who come aren’t getting on very well, which is natural, they have decided to separate after all, which is a massive life change and carries great emotional weight. But they are generally aligned on one thing, for example wanting to be able to tell their children they have been fair to each other, or avoiding a long, drawn out process, or not spending a fortune on legal fees. That’s enough for us to work with them in a professional way and get them both the advice they need. We get couples at all stages: from those who are only contemplating separation to those who have been trapped in litigation for several years and are desperate to find a way out.
Did you have any doubts before you started, if so how did you overcome them?
Yes of course! Many! I doubted whether couples would want the service Harry and I were working so hard to create, whether we would get regulated (which took a year) and whether we would be a commercial success. It’s exciting to innovate but it’s also terrifying at times. We were going against the grain of a centuries-old adversarial process after all. But deep down I believed in what we were doing so completely. I know it was a process I would want for my own family and friends, and for myself. So it never really felt like a conscious choice: I was compelled to do it.
Sam Woodham, Co-founder of The Divorce Surgery
What were the main steps to setting up your business?
There were many. As we were the first legal provider to offer joint advice to couples together we had to secure regulation by the Bar Standards Board, as well as the usual hurdles for a first business: incorporation, website, marketing, and all alongside busy private practices. So it was rather full-on!
How did you attract your first customers?
Most of our clients come from word of mouth referrals, and increasingly from former clients. But it remains the case that many separating couples have no idea joint legal advice is even an option, so a huge part of our marketing is all around education: letting people know that this is a route available to them so they can make a fully informed decision and choose the divorce that is right for them.
What changes do you want to see in the legal system?
I want it to become normal, and the default, for couples to work together through divorce. To share advisors and take unnecessary conflict out of the process. No fault divorce is a great start, but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. The issues most couples find the hardest to resolve are the arrangements for their children and the division of their finances. Divorce is hard, and involves two people who understandably will have different ideas about what the right outcome should be. This is a legal process and they will need legal advice. But we need to make the process for getting that legal advice as conflict-free and stress-free as possible. And for all but the most complex cases, that means encouraging couples to move away from an adversarial process to one which focusses on where they are aligned, and provides an expert and impartial answer where they are not.
Is there anything your business has achieved this year that you’re particularly proud of?
Yes! Harry and I have written a book all about how to divorce well, called ‘The Divorce Surgery: The Art of Untying the Knot’. It’s out now, to coincide with the no fault divorce laws coming into force. It was a massive undertaking and I was slightly daunted when we first secured the book deal with Harper Collins, but I’m hugely proud (and relieved!) that we got it done! We hope it will be an accessible blueprint for separating well, but also provoke a wider conversation around why we, as a society, treat divorce as a failure, and why that has to change.
What do you wish you had known before you started?
I’m glad I didn’t know how much work The Divorce Surgery was going to be, but I wish I’d known how much fun and rewarding it would be. I’m so glad I took the plunge, and that my colleague Harry Gates did too.
What are your 5 go-to tips for an effective divorce?
Mindset
View it as a shared problem (because it is) and not a battle (because it doesn’t have to be).
2. Communicate
Don’t second guess what your former partner is thinking. Now more than ever you need to reassure each other about your motivations.
3. Big picture goals
You’ll find that you are aligned on major goals, such as reaching a deal which is fair for you both, and shielding your children from adult disagreements. Remind yourselves of these regularly, so you don’t fall into one disagreement about a relatively minor issue and convince yourselves you are incapable of agreement.
4. Don’t rush to a lawyer
In most cases a lawyer is not the first person you should call. Attend to your emotional needs first, so you are in the right headspace for legal advice when it comes.
5. Engage with your finances
For many couples, it really helps to sit down with a financial advisor together so they are both fully up to speed with their financial situation, their budget and any tax implications of transferring assets.
What’s next for you?
At the moment it’s book publicity which is quite fun! We have a few other exciting projects in the pipeline too. But the vast majority of my time is managing the caseload of the many couples who come to us for joint advice. It’s such a privilege to be able to help them and one I hope I never take for granted.
What are you currently reading and listening to?
I’m reading ‘Conversations on Love’ by Natasha Lunn. She is brilliant, so the book is brilliant, and draws on many stages of love, including losing love and divorce. I’m taking a lot from it.
I’m listening to The Archers, although there is a divorce and family law theme creeping in so it seems I can’t escape the day job!
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